New nose.

Seriously.

Damn. I seriously need to get a really good, chic, pretty, sexy, workable, slim compact camera. I killed my previous one. And now... I'm using my dad's is-it-a-slr-but-doesn't-seem-so camera.


It's uber huge. About 10 cm long! Sigh. When will dad be entirely psyco-ed by me for a new camera. I really want the Nikon S5. Well, Nikon isn't gonna remake the model. Sigh. Its pretty. Red. I love red. And if I were to bring my toy clubbing, it won't be an eyesore. Unlike my previous Coolpix 2000.
Actually the design isn't bad. Kinda 'cause its uber old and all the paint has faded and it looks totally worn out. Yes. Thanks to my frequent usage, droppings, mishandlings. I know. I KILLED my camera. But I seriously want a new one!
Pretty? Yes. I know you are nodding heads now. =)) I have taste, duh.

This too right? Hehe. I like the black. *Hint hint* My birthday is coming soon. Hehe.

Enough of the camera talking.

My classmate Sheng Kee MSN-ed me just now; saying that the company he's working in now for attachment wants to employ. Chinese girls. Ehh. Quite fishy. Maybe I'll try, maybe I won't. I DO want to study mass com. I Do wanna start writing.
Tied between dream and money.
A BIG sigh.
Well.. For now its just my so-called bicycle design on my mind. Hope so for that.

I want to K!!

I have been grounded for more than a month. No clubbing, no ktv-ing, no movies. Ahhhhh! I want all these! 6 Feb is the final crit! Hurray! I wanna pass (D is fine.) and get out of that school A.S.A.P!! By then I can do all of the above! I miss Kbox. Seriously, I wanna sing!

P.S: Dual post 'cause I needed to tell the world my agony.

February

In 2 more days, its the month of February. I guess its a blessing that its the shortest month of the year. Thank god for that! Well, I kinda hate February. Why, you might ask. There's vday, my birthday, Chinese New Year. I'm a piscean. Naturally I'm drawn to romantic stuff. I remember vividly one vday. I was out with my parents at orchard then. GREAT! No boyfriend, no date. And I'm shopping with my parents. Then this person selling roses came to me; obviously expecting me to buy one. Damn. In school this time. Fuck. Sure to see people carrying bouquets. I hate being a piscean. Why aren't I a Leo or Virgo. Damn. After that incident I started to hate roses. Totally TOOOOOO COMMERCIALISED!!!! Soon one day, I just hated the month February.
See how the arrow pierces through both hearts. Yeah. To kill the couple. Haha. Ya. I care and don't care.

Enough!

I'm going to school tomorrow(later). And I'm not going to be afraid of Hee Kiah. At least I'll pretend not to be so. I won't try to run from him. I'll just do my stuff be it "legalised" or not. I have enough of passing my days in fear! 我不要再过着心精胆章的日子！
In school, I'l try to isolate myself from everyone. I try to be super quiet, not sharing anything at all. =))
I'm not going to be affected. Well, why should I? Why should I heed advice from people who strongly think I should dress the way they plan for me? Why should mockery submerse me with anger? I should be happier! I was born a happy baby. According to my parents, I loved to laugh when I was a baby. So I should laugh more.

Harsh life of singaporeans

Well, I don't know if you realised this. Singaporeans are like the 2nd grade Hongkees. I guess its due to our overly-urbanised society that we become:

• Sacastic in speech when things do not go our way
• Critques to every other little detail that does not follow suit
• Paparazzi gossips when we see new juicy rumours taking place
• Insensitive to cutural differences but not racist
• Materialistic for brands
• but still complain about why government has to increase the GST to 7%
• overly anxious for departmental sales and deals a.k.a kiasu
• Prententious sbout being very cultured and open-minded
• when deep down we are extremely conservative
• Sterotypers in crime
• VERY competitive so much so to the verge of just another step of just killing the competition
  

Though you might not see it. But we are all guilty of if not all, some of the mentioned. In some point of time in our lives, we DO either stand around the office or call up each other to gossip about the many different people we know. We complain ALOT. Never satisfied with this, with that. Ever hardly you will get to see a Singaporean who really understands and lives through the meaning of "自足长乐". Translation: to live in self-contentment.

One will ask, "Why? Aren't you like that too?". Hey, I admit. So, what's my purpose? To reflect. I don't believe in religion. So much so you can call me an atheist. However to proceed smoothly in life, there has to be a balance. Singaporeans are all fast-paced. Forgetting to slow down. We kinda behave like this nation of super efficient and effective production-line workers that just keep doing and doing without processing our brains. Its good to think but not all the time.(Yup. I'm guilty of thinking all the time.)

This is my first time writing something kinda sensitive. Well. So?

I hate my lecturers!

Well, not all. Just those black sheep in the crowd. Sigh. Somethings aren't of their concern. Well, its MY privacy too! I don't go around asking about your personal life. Please No, STOP all these fucking nonsense.
As you can see I have changed my blog skin to the default blogger style. I am kinda tired of all those nicely-designed skins. This is more me. :))

my kid pics.

found a photo frame in the cupboard. the pics in it were when i was abt 5-6. i looked really FAT!! haha.




i'm turning 20 soon. 20. well that 2. the second decade of my life. and its where most of my "career-building" takes place. 30 is when people are about to settle down and have kids and own hdb flats.
sometimes i do feel that i'm not ready for that 2. i haven't tried what most of my friends have experienced, i haven't dated, haven't kissed, haven't tried many other things which i can't think of because i'm kinda tired. sigh. i really don't wish to grow up. seriously i mean it. sigh.

nose running

my right side of my nose is dripping. my right eye is crying too.

It's OVER!

I 've gotten over him liao. :)

short

Life's fucking short. Too short to be considered life. Fuck. Went with my baby to a wake. Hope she's feeling fine now. My mood now is fucking pissed.
Well.. I have decided to trade guys who fucking look good in suits and tux and tie and coats for guys who think that combing their hair in the morning is a hastle and shaving is just a waste of money; growing facial hair all over their faces.

Yup! Like this guy! Damn sexy. Actually I have noticed him way before you-know-who. Dave Grohl. I love that beard/stuble/facial hair(whatever fuck shit you call it). Maybe guys who are in their late 20s. Yummy.

Lust

I guess. There many things in life we guess about. I like him. Seriously. It hurts. Damn. I have finally been so sure about myself. Sigh.
I worked my ass to attain that status of the label: the smart one. But to who? The girls. But still to guys, I'm the sweet and pretty one. It ain't bad to be pretty and nice. But it ain't what I want in life. I want a guy loving me for my thoughts and my character and my personality. Maybe Jackson's right. When people really settle down, its not about that million-dollar-smile. Its about what's on the inside. Sure everyone likes to be with someone decent. It just so happens the guys I like are that way. Haha. (I love my blog. Its really peaceful. Why? Not many people read it. So I don't get that pressure of people getting hurt.)
Reaching the age of another decade, it seems life is both a complicated and simple thing altogether. Its like this thing about the period(girls stuff). We hate it 'cause it causes cramps, inconviences. But we love it 'cause it allows us to have kids, even minor; an excuse to escape from P.E. Sometimes in life we know what we really want. Sometimes we don't. I really missed me being certain and confident. I missed me from my teen years. Damn. I'm giving myself fucking self pity. Guys just ignore me.

I m the empress.

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I am stressed up.

Ok. I am really stressed up. I guess I haven't think enough for my project. Sigh. Thank god my current location is really good. (School Lib) Why? No Hee Kiah to irritate me. It ain't lunch crowd yet, thus super quiet. I can check up all the LEISURE sites that I want(if NYP hasn't banned it). The library books are all(not really) available for me. And I feel really relaxed. :))
I hope I can come out with something by today! Hmmm..

Insomia plus loads of sleep

Had insomia on 2/1, 4/1. Slept for 20 plus hours on 5/1. God. I got to really take care of my body. Been losing weight. But it ain't the healthy way.

Ok. I met him. Nothing special to say.

Got scolded by mother-fucking HK.

unwell.

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell.
Suppose to meet someone today. Didn't bother to say whether I'm coming or not. I guess I'm really tired of the wild goose chase.
I am really sick. Didn't have lunch. Had a light dinner at 8 plus. And I mean LIGHT. The moment I see food I get nausea. Aneroxia? Maybe. But I do know I have to eat. Hmm. I guess its just my body reacting weirdly to the sight of food.

Happy New Year.

Happy 2007! Whatever actually. I don't really care if its gonna be a happy new or not. 'Cause if you were to think about people stranded in poor countries like Africa, where is the happiness there? (No pun intended) My xmas wish (last year) was for everyone to be happy. Well, I guess not. What I got for xmas? A Justin Timberlake CD from my sis, a pair of earrings from my cousin, a necklace from Jackson.





The other gifts have yet to arrive.
As you can see the earrings pic isn't that well taken. Why? 'Cause my camera died on me. Well, got to send it for repair. Damn.