Saw Mamma Mia with Jiemei! :D Its been a while since we hung out. Growing up isn't easy. Well, at least I have grown in certain areas. (Seriously no pun intended.) I miss you dearly. :D
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
唯独你是不可取替
Call me cheena. Whatever.
You can't just deprive me from my Cantonese roots. :D
Please give props to Sammi. Well, she and I do have similar experiences. We both went into depression, we both had an eating disorder. Well, I had always liked her voice. Rich and low. :D And there so much emotions in this song. Well at that time she was so in love with Andy Hui. Life does get a little warped at times. But we learn to be so much stronger than before.
Life indeed is getting much better for myself. But I ask this question to myself everyday, "For how long more?" Call me depressive or pessimistic, but I have been in the shit. And I don't want to go back there anymore. Am upright damn scared of the shadows. No matter how much I joke about me still wanting the eating disorder(vanity darlings), I'm still scared of it. I guess it was all so vivid that it had been engraved into my very bones. I really don't know if I would say I hate that person. I guess its "I seriously fuck care what happens to you thereafter" vibe. Technically I can't hate that person because this person has done nothing wrong. Secondly, there seems to be no point hating this person. Just that I got to take it with stride and prove to the world that I'm living my life much happier and better. (Thinking of ......)
I guess I have been rather lucky since school started. Him, swimmer before him. Well. I dropped swimmer due to listed reasons: Way too slow. I guess we just don't have that kind of fate. Haha. Well, he has made me a rather happy girl for the 4 weeks we got to know each other. Thank you very much for that first date, for sacrificing your chance to hop to Orchard Road for that language registration to follow me around aimlessly in the Chinatown area, for asking me if you can take a puff or not, for the long MSN chats we have, for all the sneaky words you wrote, for being that thick skinned, for all the teasing (surprisingly I do like the teasing), for the silly steals my bestie told me about, for attending class every Tuesdays and for skipping class on Thursdays, for listening to all my bitching, for being rather patient with my annoying whinings and my incessant self-talking, for liking that $100 vintage clock, for fate giving me the chance to meet you; and lastly for you being you. There is so much that I can go on about. But I think there's more to discover. Well, you do give me that fuzzy warm feeling inside that causes me to blush and smile weirdly alone. But with all the ambiguity, I'm still skeptical. Skeptical that you might just end up like the above mentioned person. I'm skeptical cause if I were to give in my all, would you throw it all away? Sigh. I love/hate such ambiguity. I'm also scared that all these emotions are just there temporary.
I know that I can seriously go on and on. But there has to be a stop. It's another of my random rants for now.
You can't just deprive me from my Cantonese roots. :D
Please give props to Sammi. Well, she and I do have similar experiences. We both went into depression, we both had an eating disorder. Well, I had always liked her voice. Rich and low. :D And there so much emotions in this song. Well at that time she was so in love with Andy Hui. Life does get a little warped at times. But we learn to be so much stronger than before.
Life indeed is getting much better for myself. But I ask this question to myself everyday, "For how long more?" Call me depressive or pessimistic, but I have been in the shit. And I don't want to go back there anymore. Am upright damn scared of the shadows. No matter how much I joke about me still wanting the eating disorder(vanity darlings), I'm still scared of it. I guess it was all so vivid that it had been engraved into my very bones. I really don't know if I would say I hate that person. I guess its "I seriously fuck care what happens to you thereafter" vibe. Technically I can't hate that person because this person has done nothing wrong. Secondly, there seems to be no point hating this person. Just that I got to take it with stride and prove to the world that I'm living my life much happier and better. (Thinking of ......)
I guess I have been rather lucky since school started. Him, swimmer before him. Well. I dropped swimmer due to listed reasons: Way too slow. I guess we just don't have that kind of fate. Haha. Well, he has made me a rather happy girl for the 4 weeks we got to know each other. Thank you very much for that first date, for sacrificing your chance to hop to Orchard Road for that language registration to follow me around aimlessly in the Chinatown area, for asking me if you can take a puff or not, for the long MSN chats we have, for all the sneaky words you wrote, for being that thick skinned, for all the teasing (surprisingly I do like the teasing), for the silly steals my bestie told me about, for attending class every Tuesdays and for skipping class on Thursdays, for listening to all my bitching, for being rather patient with my annoying whinings and my incessant self-talking, for liking that $100 vintage clock, for fate giving me the chance to meet you; and lastly for you being you. There is so much that I can go on about. But I think there's more to discover. Well, you do give me that fuzzy warm feeling inside that causes me to blush and smile weirdly alone. But with all the ambiguity, I'm still skeptical. Skeptical that you might just end up like the above mentioned person. I'm skeptical cause if I were to give in my all, would you throw it all away? Sigh. I love/hate such ambiguity. I'm also scared that all these emotions are just there temporary.
I know that I can seriously go on and on. But there has to be a stop. It's another of my random rants for now.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Where is Lithuania?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
PISSED.
Some people just think that the entire world has to revolve around them.
I seriously don't care who reads my blog now. I'm seriously annoyed. Well. Annoyed.
I hate it when we all jolly well know it takes 2 sides to clap. And its irritating that people just plainly ignore this beautiful fact. Well. I empathize with the lecturer's point of view and understand that my classmates still do want their pride Well, I have been that road and back. When would people ever just learn?
Well. I'm not shooting this rant at anyone. I just think that the entire issue is a total waste of my time and money. If they can complain about they money being wasted and all, why can't I as well? Hate the double standard thinking. Whatever.
I seriously don't care who reads my blog now. I'm seriously annoyed. Well. Annoyed.
I hate it when we all jolly well know it takes 2 sides to clap. And its irritating that people just plainly ignore this beautiful fact. Well. I empathize with the lecturer's point of view and understand that my classmates still do want their pride Well, I have been that road and back. When would people ever just learn?
Well. I'm not shooting this rant at anyone. I just think that the entire issue is a total waste of my time and money. If they can complain about they money being wasted and all, why can't I as well? Hate the double standard thinking. Whatever.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Swimming.
Went for a dip just now. Got tanned too. Ok. I really need to start writing proper entries. Short snippets here and there just won't do. Hey. But I blog everyday.
OK. Back to the orginal topic. Swimming. Took out the bikini and realised that "Hey, I do look good in one." :D for that. Well, now I'm darker as well. :D for that too! And I did 5 laps. I know it ain't fantastically a lot but do remember that I have not been in the water for years. So I guess 5 laps is just a good starting point. Maybe I'll start swimming every Sunday after tuition, that's if I not dating that day. :D Hopefully the thighs are much leaner today! :D
OK. Back to the orginal topic. Swimming. Took out the bikini and realised that "Hey, I do look good in one." :D for that. Well, now I'm darker as well. :D for that too! And I did 5 laps. I know it ain't fantastically a lot but do remember that I have not been in the water for years. So I guess 5 laps is just a good starting point. Maybe I'll start swimming every Sunday after tuition, that's if I not dating that day. :D Hopefully the thighs are much leaner today! :D
Euphoria.
Well. I was supposed to be in this euphoric state of mind but my family issues got the better of it.
To some extent, I do feel good. I haven't been happy in a really long while. Since February. It's weird too. I guess I don't really have must expectations this time.
Yes, felt very different from hanging out with Alson or Mark.
To some extent, I do feel good. I haven't been happy in a really long while. Since February. It's weird too. I guess I don't really have must expectations this time.
Yes, felt very different from hanging out with Alson or Mark.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Hmmm.
Maybe I had been rather blunt these days. My bad.
Well, I'm still single. I let "swimmer" go. And I'm not sad about it. He was a potential BF candidate for sure. Well, on my part his just a really nice friend. (Whom I borrowed a textbook from.) I didn't put in any feelings this time round, so I wasn't hurt. Hopefully he wasn't as hurt too. Yes. Going one big round to meet this person again, does seem to have some expectations to meet up with. I'm sorry. I will try not to lead you on. You're a nice guy, you'll find better girls out there. :D Trust me! I'm not for you.
Well, I'm still single. I let "swimmer" go. And I'm not sad about it. He was a potential BF candidate for sure. Well, on my part his just a really nice friend. (Whom I borrowed a textbook from.) I didn't put in any feelings this time round, so I wasn't hurt. Hopefully he wasn't as hurt too. Yes. Going one big round to meet this person again, does seem to have some expectations to meet up with. I'm sorry. I will try not to lead you on. You're a nice guy, you'll find better girls out there. :D Trust me! I'm not for you.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Call me selfish.
Singlish post time!
Call me buay he lah. I don't care liao. Got some people ar. Teach liao hor not thankful enough liao. Still down here kao pei kao bu. Machiam the whole world kiamp them something. I not going to teach liao lah. Walao. Only thank you can liao ar? Even I go give tuition also got money to get lah. Help them get good marks for what sia! Not fair to others who try themselves what! I think hor, I will only give tuition. Those who got pay attention class but buey understand what the ang mo lecturer talking about, then I teach. Walao. Everything expect lao niang to do. I si pei bo eng loh. I dulan liao. NO MORE teaching liao. Ta bai like that one. Damn sian lah. Don't know, go ask the ang mo. I not the lecturer. I student also. My job is to study leh, not steal rich bowl from lecturer loh. The school also never pay me $10K a month leh! I still got to pay school fees leh. If still want to kao pei kao bu me its ok lah. Cos I don't care them mah. Aiya. No my problem liao. Get my A and I don't care loh! Haha.
Call me buay he lah. I don't care liao. Got some people ar. Teach liao hor not thankful enough liao. Still down here kao pei kao bu. Machiam the whole world kiamp them something. I not going to teach liao lah. Walao. Only thank you can liao ar? Even I go give tuition also got money to get lah. Help them get good marks for what sia! Not fair to others who try themselves what! I think hor, I will only give tuition. Those who got pay attention class but buey understand what the ang mo lecturer talking about, then I teach. Walao. Everything expect lao niang to do. I si pei bo eng loh. I dulan liao. NO MORE teaching liao. Ta bai like that one. Damn sian lah. Don't know, go ask the ang mo. I not the lecturer. I student also. My job is to study leh, not steal rich bowl from lecturer loh. The school also never pay me $10K a month leh! I still got to pay school fees leh. If still want to kao pei kao bu me its ok lah. Cos I don't care them mah. Aiya. No my problem liao. Get my A and I don't care loh! Haha.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
命中注定我愛你
Yes, its been a long while since I watched a Taiwanese drama. 命中注定我愛你. Man. I cried like fuck for that show. It's damn good. And I really do have the urge to get a sperm donor now. Moi wants a kid too!! Haha. I know. Crazy. But I guess I might turn out to be a good mom. I do want kids. I do want a proper family too. Hahaha. Oh well.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I'm not....
I'm not hard to get; just that I have high expectations.
I'm not hard to please; just that the things I like are very rare and unique.
I'm not hard to please; just that the things I like are very rare and unique.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
I do hope you're getting stronger.
Dear sister,
I know I haven't really been there for you recently. And I do know that no matter what excuse/reason I give, it does not justify for the neglect. But I want you to know that I am here for you.
It is not easy to recover from the heart ache and pains. It is definitely going to be a long painful process. However so, there is always are light at the end of that tunnel. It may be long, but please remember that when the door shuts, a window will open. There are many other better opportunities out there. I know I'm going to sound cliche, but it will all get better in time. One day when you look back, you will realised that you're much stronger than when you first started. Hang in there. It will be over soon. If you need me to hold your hand, I'm here. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here. If you need me to listen to your woes, I'm here. You're not alone.
From your sister and friend.
I know I haven't really been there for you recently. And I do know that no matter what excuse/reason I give, it does not justify for the neglect. But I want you to know that I am here for you.
It is not easy to recover from the heart ache and pains. It is definitely going to be a long painful process. However so, there is always are light at the end of that tunnel. It may be long, but please remember that when the door shuts, a window will open. There are many other better opportunities out there. I know I'm going to sound cliche, but it will all get better in time. One day when you look back, you will realised that you're much stronger than when you first started. Hang in there. It will be over soon. If you need me to hold your hand, I'm here. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here. If you need me to listen to your woes, I'm here. You're not alone.
From your sister and friend.
Friday, September 05, 2008
WHY?
It's not fair. Why does good people suffer while mean people have to celebrate? Where has the "good triumphing evil" gone to?
I got news from someone that a really long time/lost friend of mine has gotten leukemia. This friend of mine, D, is the sweetest guy ever! I've known D since primary school. We lost contact for a few years due to change of numbers and the regular stuff going on. I guess thanks to fate, I got to know a person that are friends with him. The morbid twist of fate.
I have always been struggling to give faith a chance. Since the day my grandparents died. I contemplated my questioning and praying. My prayers were often half-hearted. I do want to believe and let things be as they are. Let the so called god take control and just drive me through this life process. However in some way, if that driver at the wheel is just a robot and I'm the supposed one to operate the robot and steer the wheel? I'm at this stage still in denial and all. Maybe I might change out of the denial or maybe I might just accept this denial as the truth.
And yet there are people complaining and whining about their good-enough lives. Fuckers. Yes I do complain as well. But after that conversation with one of the complaining people, complaining about how flawed I am, I guess in some way I got put off. I mean major put off. These days when this person, X, talks/communicates with me I'm kinda in that "ok, whatever" mode. So X can complain all X wants but Zelda can't. Great thinking! Fucker. And so X can brags all X wants while Zelda can't too. Another great idea! Stop telling me that I have no fucking right to say what I want. I love talking about my romantic life cause I'm pretty much clueless and I do want some acceptance. Stop saying that my words cut like a sword. Fucking hell yours cut too. But I fucking don't complain about that. Good for you that you can do certain things but stop complaining that its going to be tough and all. Hello, my sick friend can't do much at all.
Another complaining person, Y. Damn. Y is one of the worst and most spoiled of all. I have never met anyone as spoiled. If you're not into that subject, then leave it. If the crowd is not into that subject except you, leave it too. We won't blame/ostracize you for any differences. I'm so much different from everyone. Do I have to become an anti-social because of that? We aren't clones of Y. If not there'll be another fucked up North Korea. Please fucking stop the pouting and annoying tantrums. I guarantee one day Y's going to annoy me so much so that I'll just tell Y off. My patience is still rather stretchable but it will definitely snap one day.
Yes. I do know this is a pissed off rant. I am pissed off. I need an avenue to complain too. At least to an empty space. Damn. Why don't people ever just learn/shut up whenever they need to? ARGH!
I got news from someone that a really long time/lost friend of mine has gotten leukemia. This friend of mine, D, is the sweetest guy ever! I've known D since primary school. We lost contact for a few years due to change of numbers and the regular stuff going on. I guess thanks to fate, I got to know a person that are friends with him. The morbid twist of fate.
I have always been struggling to give faith a chance. Since the day my grandparents died. I contemplated my questioning and praying. My prayers were often half-hearted. I do want to believe and let things be as they are. Let the so called god take control and just drive me through this life process. However in some way, if that driver at the wheel is just a robot and I'm the supposed one to operate the robot and steer the wheel? I'm at this stage still in denial and all. Maybe I might change out of the denial or maybe I might just accept this denial as the truth.
And yet there are people complaining and whining about their good-enough lives. Fuckers. Yes I do complain as well. But after that conversation with one of the complaining people, complaining about how flawed I am, I guess in some way I got put off. I mean major put off. These days when this person, X, talks/communicates with me I'm kinda in that "ok, whatever" mode. So X can complain all X wants but Zelda can't. Great thinking! Fucker. And so X can brags all X wants while Zelda can't too. Another great idea! Stop telling me that I have no fucking right to say what I want. I love talking about my romantic life cause I'm pretty much clueless and I do want some acceptance. Stop saying that my words cut like a sword. Fucking hell yours cut too. But I fucking don't complain about that. Good for you that you can do certain things but stop complaining that its going to be tough and all. Hello, my sick friend can't do much at all.
Another complaining person, Y. Damn. Y is one of the worst and most spoiled of all. I have never met anyone as spoiled. If you're not into that subject, then leave it. If the crowd is not into that subject except you, leave it too. We won't blame/ostracize you for any differences. I'm so much different from everyone. Do I have to become an anti-social because of that? We aren't clones of Y. If not there'll be another fucked up North Korea. Please fucking stop the pouting and annoying tantrums. I guarantee one day Y's going to annoy me so much so that I'll just tell Y off. My patience is still rather stretchable but it will definitely snap one day.
Yes. I do know this is a pissed off rant. I am pissed off. I need an avenue to complain too. At least to an empty space. Damn. Why don't people ever just learn/shut up whenever they need to? ARGH!
It's been a while.
Well, its actually an open secret that I have a hate site. I ain't a perfect person. And I do know that this site was written a very long time ago. Well, sometimes its just nice to dig out some old shit and let it hit sunshine.
I do admit that I was an ass during my younger days. Well that was then. Yes, I might still be an ass now but I guess the difference now is that I'm being an ass when I need to be(?). I'm not perfect. Stop trying to force this triangle into that circle.
I do admit that I was an ass during my younger days. Well that was then. Yes, I might still be an ass now but I guess the difference now is that I'm being an ass when I need to be(?). I'm not perfect. Stop trying to force this triangle into that circle.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
RING.
I found this really cute ring on Fred Flare. If you hadn't known, Fred Flare is my new happy site. Here's the ring. God I feel so happy looking at it.
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