is it called 尴尬？(my ass)

i think i mayb shld say ba.. well i m nt like some ppl who openly confess (real) likings to ppl. fake ones are juz for fun. since p6 has ended i think its abt time.. i m still kinda shy abt the entire thing though. haha. (shy my ass) haha. i think is the thought of rejection. i guess that's so. well, who isn't? we are all creatures who love "face". esp singaporeans! haha.
today, was kinda weird. i think i was more like taken aback. taken aback by wad? haha. well, this person came. ( i'm still rather sceptical.) erm. i juz took a glance. that's all. nothing more den that. haha. n i knw that my behaviour was rather quiet when this person was around. pls do nt ask y i din behave like on normal days. coz i really have no idea so. plus i guess sms, msn, phone chatting are totally different from meeting any one in person. esp when its someone who you either hvnt seen b4 or hvnt really met in a long time. thinking abt it, i dun really feel weird meeting my primary sch frens. mayb its who. could be. "blush" haha. i DO blush? haha. i thought i was too dark to blush. haha. lame joke.
i think this person sort of knw? duno oso good. knw oso.. gt nothing to say abt tat. even so, i think i might nt wanna think abt wad u are going to do or say or even think. i knw i'm nt the best option(?) for u. i knw i' ll nt make a really good companion, frm past experiences; i m a super difficult gf. nt material-wise, as in i'm hard to get. very unpredictable. i m nt chosy(good point). haha. its nt the mood swings. its more like character. i'm rather hard to sterotype/categorise.
i'm like 19 nw. so i think i shld b able to handle rejection(?). i think at most cry loh. haha. at most gain a few pounds loh. at most gourge on ice-cream n chocolates loh. at most bcome a workaholic. at most find a other guy; cos the forest is soooo big. at most suck it up and move on with life. its no the end leh.
hey. i gt 条件 one. i m nt say ugly(lookable). so i think there shld b one for me. rite? 月老 sure gt one red string for me. i believe so. i think i m juz forgotten by him to connect. haha. so.. hey 月老先生，别忘了忙我搒线。我已等了6多年。记得, k?
ok i juz wrote a indirect confession plus a motivation to myself in case of rejection(most prob).