Sigh.

I flared. And most people who know me, will get scared when I do so. It's ugly. Very ugly.
I got tired. Very tired. I love Zulia alot. We knew each other since 2000. It has 8 years. 8 years. I'm even much closer to friends that I have known for just 5 months? Why have we distant? It hurts alot when I spilled the truth. I guess because of the time and memories we have together. I always tell my friends, I'm independent enough to do things myself. But why do I still keep clinging on to this near broken friendship? I believe in sincerity when it comes to friendships. I give my 110% if not 100% in every friend I make. Yes, I do know when to retract and when to give. But its different case for Zulia altogether. I can't just let go so easily with her. I told her, "I don't even put so much with the guys I like." It is a very true statement. Its always my friends first, then me, then my family. Surprisingly, they are even placed before me. Sigh.
Talking to Yu Heng did help in some way. I'm glad he lent me his ear. Marilyn's just as tired with Zulia. I know I'm not supposed to let some people read this. But I seriously need an avenue to vent my emotions out. Don't ask me. Please don't ask me, "What's going on?" or "What's the matter?" I let it all out and it feels good now. At least for now. I love my friends. But do they love me as much? Sigh.