A thin fine line.

I'm not trying to be a mean person. Guess the time when Alvin told me to stop being naive, did wake me up. I woke up. Surprisingly, I'm thankful.

I'm kinda tired of many things. Well, my family, my friends and my life. Ok. I ain't depress or anything like that. I'm just undergoing this transitional reflection stage of my life.

My family. Dysfunctional for sure. I love my family. Tired of my mom nagging and bitching 24/7. I wonder if she does have a mental condition? After all my grandmother did become senile. Well, there always that black sheep. Rather we can never be that white/pure in life. There's still always some soot on us when the day ends.

My friends. God. I really don't know where to begin. Seriously I have to admit finding who's true and real to you is the hardest. I don't deny that my current friends now are at most 80% real to me. Is Zelda being a bitch by writing this? Hell no! I realized that no matter how my friends turn out to be, I do give my 100%. Not that I'm bragging. I'm a person who has always believed in karma and that life is a cycle. What goes around, comes around. It's fucking depressing to know that when you give your all and people just fall short for you. My dad always tells me the "give and take" ideology. Everytime I get pissed about the "friends" department, I shrug. Yup. Am seriously down right tired in this department for sure. Zulia's birthday party is this Saturday. I'm fucking sure she'll take things for granted. Stuff that I do, i.e. shoes, scroll. As if those stuff are easy to do. Thank god she has dealt with an entire firm of designers. Good luck to her with that.

My life. School, career, diet, sleep, music, fashion. I hate myself for the incapability to perform/excel. It's my last chance at school and I screw it up. Sigh. Career wasn't very much planned well. I got this whole load of goals/ambitions, but none of which I have ever completed. I have this super screwed up diet too. I just so pissed with alot of things at the moment. Whatever.