唯独你是不可取替

Call me cheena. Whatever.

You can't just deprive me from my Cantonese roots. :D

Please give props to Sammi. Well, she and I do have similar experiences. We both went into depression, we both had an eating disorder. Well, I had always liked her voice. Rich and low. :D And there so much emotions in this song. Well at that time she was so in love with Andy Hui. Life does get a little warped at times. But we learn to be so much stronger than before.

Life indeed is getting much better for myself. But I ask this question to myself everyday, "For how long more?" Call me depressive or pessimistic, but I have been in the shit. And I don't want to go back there anymore. Am upright damn scared of the shadows. No matter how much I joke about me still wanting the eating disorder(vanity darlings), I'm still scared of it. I guess it was all so vivid that it had been engraved into my very bones. I really don't know if I would say I hate that person. I guess its "I seriously fuck care what happens to you thereafter" vibe. Technically I can't hate that person because this person has done nothing wrong. Secondly, there seems to be no point hating this person. Just that I got to take it with stride and prove to the world that I'm living my life much happier and better. (Thinking of ......)

I guess I have been rather lucky since school started. Him, swimmer before him. Well. I dropped swimmer due to listed reasons: Way too slow. I guess we just don't have that kind of fate. Haha. Well, he has made me a rather happy girl for the 4 weeks we got to know each other. Thank you very much for that first date, for sacrificing your chance to hop to Orchard Road for that language registration to follow me around aimlessly in the Chinatown area, for asking me if you can take a puff or not, for the long MSN chats we have, for all the sneaky words you wrote, for being that thick skinned, for all the teasing (surprisingly I do like the teasing), for the silly steals my bestie told me about, for attending class every Tuesdays and for skipping class on Thursdays, for listening to all my bitching, for being rather patient with my annoying whinings and my incessant self-talking, for liking that $100 vintage clock, for fate giving me the chance to meet you; and lastly for you being you. There is so much that I can go on about. But I think there's more to discover. Well, you do give me that fuzzy warm feeling inside that causes me to blush and smile weirdly alone. But with all the ambiguity, I'm still skeptical. Skeptical that you might just end up like the above mentioned person. I'm skeptical cause if I were to give in my all, would you throw it all away? Sigh. I love/hate such ambiguity. I'm also scared that all these emotions are just there temporary.

I know that I can seriously go on and on. But there has to be a stop. It's another of my random rants for now.