Trying.

When I first opened up a draft to write at 7pm, I did feel a rush of emotions to the head. I did want to cry. So badly. I hadn't cried in a long while. My tear glands haven't been doing their job.

I guess I don't really have the right to cry at all. Most of the recent events are somewhat so of my own doing. Just like the song from the Bee Gees; I started a joke.

I started a joke
which started the whole world crying
but I didn't see oh no...
that the joke was on me oh no...
I started to cry
which started the whole world laughing

I'm that joke. I suck at my PR skills when it comes to on a personal level. I reckon its just too clinical for friends or potential friends to handle. Yes the all time famous power woman's trait. I am trying to be more human as much as I can. I know that I should break down that wall of mine. I'm a Pisces - 2 fish. I guess while one fish is trying to break down the wall, the other builds it up faster.

I have this intrapersonal struggle that in turn affects my interpersonal. ~Shrugs~